I love bacon-maple bars!

A few months ago I mentioned bacon-maple bars from Voodoo Donuts in Portland and how much I loved them. If your first thought is "that's disgusting!", you are so wrong. Honestly, my first thought was like that, but after trying it, I was lovin' it! Think of having breakfast at a restaurant of pancakes and bacon and it all mixes together. This is just the donut version of that. And it's amazing! Donuts are great, but donuts that have meat on them are even better! So, if you are in Portland or come for a visit, Voodoo Donuts is the place to go.

The Newest and Latest News!

I am moving to LA in the fall to start up at Fuller Seminary and do an internship through a church. I am super excited about doing something new in my life and starting down the path that I feel the Lord has been leading me toward for a few years now. The thought of starting up school again doesn't sound that fun right now, but it will be something that I care about, as opposed to my undergraduate work in business.

I am going to be studying Urban Missions as part of the Inter-Cultural Studies School. It will be really cool to be studying this as I am working in an inner-city church. I can get some nice practical knowledge as I am cranking out the schooling.

Also, I will get to quit my job, which is a really nice benefit. It's not that I hate my job; I'm just really tired of it right now and feel pretty emotionally exhausted and burned out. So, that's the latest and newest!

Awkward story of the day!

I haven't added much to this blog in the last 9 months or so cause I've been working at a homeless shelter and much of what I do has to remain pretty confidential. But I heard a story from one client a few night ago that bears repeating to a broader audience. So, hence this posting...

The client approached the counter asking for the staffs opinion on a hypothetical question. We obliged and he started with the following story:

*Does it seem weird to you that someone would walk into the shower with only a t-shirt on, holding his socks and underwear, and step into the stream of water? This man started to wash his socks, underwear, and shirt with soap, but continued to keep the shirt on as he was lathering up his whole body and clothing. Would you be concerned for him?* (paraphrased for brevity)

My natural reaction with confusion, but after more explanation I started to get the idea of what took place. In some ways, I was surprised, but things similar to this happen often enough, that the shock wore off pretty quickly.

I'm sure I'll have more of these stories to add in the near future.


Oh, yes, and I did just make a trip back to Rijeka for about two weeks, so I'll have more to share about that at a later point. I'll leave you with a picture of my buddy Davor and I.

A few of my current favorite things...

• Wilco's "Sky Blue Sky" cd
  
• The Bacon-Maple Bar from Voodoo Donuts (more later)
• Vietnamese Beef Pho
• Netflix
• New green shoes
• The possibility of a new job
• Sweatshirts with hoods on a cold night
  

A Continuation of the BEST OF

"John and Andy" from Gibraltar. This day excursion was definitely a highlight of the trip.
I do love monkeys!

Taken from the Croatian National Park, Plitvice. It was the bottom of one of the huge waterfalls.

Pic of my buddy Dario and I on the bridge to Krk.

Cool painted buildings in the city of Rovinj, Croatia.

Well a full two months now has passed since I last blogged. I guess it was inevitable that I this would all start to fade away. I now lead a pretty boring life. I work 40 hours at a homeless shelter and while there are interesting and often disturbing things that happen there, I can't talk about it on an open forum, because if my boss were to happen upon this, I might be fired. And the other part of my time is split between enjoying my Netflix subscription, reading, and doing a little volunteering with the local Campus Crusade office.

So, in all, I don't have much to say anymore. Instead, I will give you another opportunity to look into my life when it was more exciting. So, I will be putting up some of my favorite pictures from my time in Croatia.

This is Primosten, in southern Croatia. It is probably my favorite city in Croatia.

My buddy Zoran and I (with Doda in the back) on our way hiking.
I definitely look forward to hanging out again soon (Just 4 months)!

This is quite possibly my favorite John and Andy! I just love to added creepiness of our looks.

This is just a really cool moment and I was fortunate to capture it in this picture. It is from the island of Krk on a trip with my buddy Dario. It's just a beautiful picture of the island and sea.

Useful information for anyone flying this winter!

I heard on the radio today that Lufthansa airlines is having a huge deal on airline tickets for flights from Dec. 25 to Mar. 13 on flights to Europe. I wish I could use it myself, but no can do. Enjoy!

Absolutely crazy!

So, I stumbled upon this crazy adventure website called "Goliath Expedition"

You must check it out. It's all about this guy that is trying to walk around the world solo. It's not really around the world, but from the southern tip of South America up through North America, across the Bering Straits, and across Asia and Europe to his homeland of England. He started in 1998 and is currently in Russia somewhere. It's all pretty nuts! Make sure you read the blog entry of him crossing the Bering Straits.

My life has always been a series of distraction; one right after another. Usually the distractions have been good things, but they have moved my vision from the right and pure things in life. I have known this for a while now, but I recently realized that again in a whole new way. A few weeks ago, my dad and I made a trip to Central Oregon for a long weekend of camping and spending time together. It was great, but was almost too much to handle. The second night almost became too much for me. The silence left me completely to my thoughts and I broke. That is when I realized that all of my distractions have replaced my thoughts. I don't really think that much anymore. And the one big thought in my mind that I have been ignoring has been my mom's passing.

To say that I have not put much thought into my mom's recent death would be an understatement for sure. Usually when the thought comes into my head, I replace it quickly with one that is not so hard to deal with. I have gotten over the stage of denial; in thinking that this whole thing is just not real, like it might be just a sick dream. I have accepted that she is dead, but i now seem to be unable to move past that and enter any next cycle of the mourning process. It's almost like I'm incapable of continuing in the process. I know that part of it is that I don't really have experience in this mourning stuff. I'm really unsure of it all right now.

I have heard from some wise friends of mine to take it easy on myself at this time and allow myself to move slowly. I have a hard time with doing that though. I expect results; and those results must come quickly. I can't deal with being patient. I'm looking for ways to learn this and continue dealing with all of what's in me. Please pray for me.

I have added the following song lyrics, because they are starting to become true again in my life. This song is true about the sin in my life along with the place I find myself. I hope it helps you.

Something Beautiful
Jars of Clay

If you put your arms around me,
Could it change the way I feel?
I guess I let myself believe
That the outside might just bleed its way in
Maybe stir the sleeping past
Lying under glass
Waiting for the kiss
That breaks this awful spell
Pull me out... of this lonely cell

Close my eyes and hold my heart
Cover me and make me something
Change this something normal
Into something beautiful

What I get from my reflection
Isn't what I thought I'd see.
so, give me reason to believe
You'd never keep me incomplete
Will you untie this loss of mine?
It easily defines me,
Do you see it on my face?
And that all I can think about is how long
I've been waiting to feel you move me.

And I'm still fighting for the word
To break these chains
And I still pray when I look in your eyes
You'd stare right back down
Into something beautiful

Bikes, Bikes! I like bikes!

So, one of my passions in life is mountain biking and flying down a hill jumping over stuff always on the verge of crashing. I have been really into biking for about 10 years now. I actually am a certified bicycle mechanic from the United Bicycle Institute in Ashland, OR (I know; kinda weird, but completely true). I planned for many years on starting a bike shop and started studying business because of that plan.

So, here is my homage to my bikes; new and old.

Above is my first "real" mountain bike. I had the Huffy's and crap bikes like that growing up, but this is my first good bike I bought when I was 16. It is a GT i-drive full-suspension if any of you know what that means. Until just recently, it has been in pieces in my dad's shop. I have put it together so I can sell it. I don't have much use for it anymore. I am selling it for $400 if you are interested.

The next bike has been my baby for many years now. I haven't had a girlfriend for many years now, so I spent the money I would have on her on this bike. It has a titanium frame, which is the best material for bike frames and is pretty expensive. I built the wheelset back when I went to the bike school. I recently blew out the suspension fork, so I have a brand new fork on it now. I am also trying to sell this bike. I have it listed on Craigs List for $1000. Hopefully I will sell it soon.

And finally, this is my brand new bike I bought a few weeks back. It is a Kona Scrap, which is best used to jump things on dirt or in a city. It is a blast and so much fun to rocket down a hill or over things. It's got hydraulic disk brakes, like on a car, which makes it stop real fast. I'm not trying to sell this bike.

New things and next steps...

As the title suggests, this is all about the new things in my life and next steps I am taking as I'm dealing with life now. As time lengthens from when my mom died, I am learning to process through all that finally. It still has been hard to wrap my mind around her not being here. I have noticed that as more time passes, it becomes a little more real. It is all a new process for me, so I don't really know how to progress down this road. I've seen how it has affected me in such different ways than my dad or sisters. Honestly, I have some days that I don't really think about her being gone. Other days, I can't seem to remove the thought from my mind. It is really a product of my life the last few years.

I moved from home to transfer to the University of Oregon three years ago. That really became the start of a pretty independent life for me. I still talked to my family pretty regularly, but nothing like if I was living with them. And after I graduated, I started getting ready for leaving for Croatia and finally left about a year ago. My mom started getting sick after I left for Croatia and I was in limited communication with them during the five months I was there. So, I write all of that to say that this last month and a half since my mom has died has at times felt unreal. It has often felt like I have just been away from her for another long period of time. I have expressed to many people that I almost feel that it will continue to feel unreal for a long time. And each step along my life that I always expected her to be there for, and she isn't, the realness of her loss will hit another level.

Another new thing in my life is a new job. I was just hired today by a non-profit in Portland called Transition Projects (click on name for link to website). In a nutshell, they provide services to the homeless population in Portland. The services include transitional housing, food, clothing, and many other things. My position title is "Residential Advocate", which means that I will be working with the people in helping provide them with the services they need. I am really excited about this job. It is similar to what I would like to do in the future as an occupation. It will be great experience and hopefully a meaningful way to spend my year before going to seminary.

I also recently bought a new mountain bike that is pretty sweet. It is a fun little thing that allows me to ride down hills really fast and go off some jumps every once in a while. I will post some pictures of it soon after I get it nice and dirty.

And one other new thing is I am going to be an uncle again in about seven months. My sister, Amy, is expecting in April for her first child. I have four crazy nephews from my other sister Carolynn. Carolynn and I are silently hoping Amy has a little girl, so we can have a niece. It will be fun to have another baby around in a bit. Being an uncle is great! All the fun things like seeing them, but not having to keep them very long!

Amazingness is afoot!

Check it out here

The Mysteries of Signs - part 7

My time in Croatia was filled with random, nondescript signs that I never understood. When I drove, I just tried to follow the cars in front of me to stay out of trouble. Here are just a sampling of those I saw.

Yeah, you try to figure those out. The ones with the writing under them probably give a clue to what they mean, but try reading them with the Croatian language level of a two year old.

"How are you doing?"

The above question is one that we use constantly in our everyday conversations with people around us. It is such a natural thing to say that we say it without really thinking about it and/or expecting an honest, real response. As I am grieving the loss of my mom and obviously not ok with life in general, I am asked this constantly. I usually respond with the "ok" or "alright" responses that are almost expected in any situation. Occasionally, I respond with a "not good" or "pretty crappy" and also sometimes I don't say anything at all and give them a shoulder shrug and a look that gives them a response that says "are you kidding me? You really asked me that? How do you think?"

All of us fall into this all of the time. I even do while I am dealing with all of this. I have asked my dad and sisters this question and immediately thought how stupid am I. I don't really fault anyone for saying this to me. No one really knows how to act toward someone that is going through tragedy. I know that I am tired of responding in a nice, kind way. Any of you that really know me would not be surprised by that.

I don't know if anyone really looks at my blog anymore, so this might be a mute point. But for those of you that do read this, please don't ask me how I am doing; please don't ask how my family is doing. I know that you care for me and want to express that, but find another way to express that. Thanks for reading

My mom died tonight from liver failure. She would have had a better chance a living if she would have gotten a liver transplant while she was on the list. She died because there are so few donors. Why aren't you a donor?

Listening to Gorillaz has finally put me in the mood to write this post...

As many of you know, my mom is waiting for a liver transplant to live longer. She will die if she doesn't get a new liver. The liver is a pretty important organ and does a lot for us to be ourselves and healthy. I want to tell a little about my mom and how she got to where she is now.

My mom is one of the most important people in my life and specifically in the last seven months, has become one of the strongest people I have ever known. She has been on the edge of dying multiple times now and has not given up and stopped fighting. She was diagnosed just over a year ago with non-alcohol related liver cirrhosis, which is only curable with a transplant. She started getting sick in September and was hospitalized for the first time then. The first real big scare was in December, just before Christmas. She slipped into a coma and didn't come out of it for almost three days. Obviously, that was a huge scare for us all. Since that time in December, she has been in and out of the hospital as the disease has progressed.

We had to go through a process for her to be listed on the liver transplant list and she was finally listed in the middle of March. From that point until now, she has been up and down and everywhere between. Exactly two weeks ago, at almost the exact time I'm writing this, we got a call from the hospital that does the transplants here in Portland telling us that there was a liver available. I should point out at this time that livers are usually taken from a donor that has died. Some organs can be given from live people, which is also true with the liver, but is extremely dangerous, particularly with the liver. All of my family rushed to the hospital and waited six hours as they prepped my mom for surgery and removed the organs from the donor. As they were removing the liver, they noticed that the liver was damaged and couldn't be transplanted into my mom. This was a major hit to us and I sat there thinking I was in a horrible dream.

She has been in another hospital since then battling infections and a whole body that is fighting back. We are all waiting again for that call that says that there is another liver waiting for us.

What really prompts this post is the lack of information and focused talk on the issue of transplant in our country. So I have added a few below:

• Almost 100,000 men, women and children currently need life-saving organ transplants.


• Every 12 minutes another name is added to the national organ transplant waiting list.


• An average of 18 people die each day from the lack of available organs for transplant.

• 90% of Americans say they support donation, but only 30% know the essential steps to take to be a donor.

Stats taken from Donate Life America

I am personally invested in this story, because my mom is the one waiting for someone to give her life. It is kind of a strange thing - someone will die and because of that death, my mom can live. Why wouldn't you want to be a part of that in you life and death? What is keeping you from being a donor and giving that life to another person in such need of it?

There are so many people that are in need and you can help make a difference in making their lives better and longer. Learn the facts and join! It's probably not going to be my mom that you will save, but it will be someone's mom or dad or brother...

Please read this.

Thanks

858 / 858 (100.0%)

It has been done to completion! I accept all of your congratulations! And thank you!

I just finished my quest to go through all the songs on my ipod in the shuffle mode. It was all pretty anticlimactic and really kind of disappointing in the end. I know - sorry and sad - but it really has been just that. Throughout the whole process, I was guessing what the last song might be; all along the way hoping for something to wrap it all up, but that just did not happen. I ended with a song from the soundtrack to Antwone Fisher, which is a nice song, but not really what I was looking for. I thought it would be some great song by Nickel Creek (one of my favorite bands ever) or if I was really fortunate, I would get Good Riddance by Green Day. It was not in the cards though. But don't be sad for me - I'm not. I'm actually really glad to have my ipod free of capture of the task at hand. Thanks for all the support peeps!

This song has been rocking my world lately. It is called "More than Life" written by Hillsong United. I definitely had to learn this one.

Stand by everything You said
Stand by the promises we made
Let go of everything I've done
I'll run into Your open arms
And all I know

Chorus:
I love You more than life
I love You more than life

Fall back on everything You've done
Fall back on everlasting arms
When all the world is swept away
You are all the things I need
You're the air I breathe

How can it be
You were the one on the cross
Lifted for all our shame?
How can it be
The scars in Your hands are for me?
You are the king of all

So, I realized that I have written so little about my latest trip to Croatia and have not given it the just word pictures. My trip back from Rijeka was definitely one of the most interesting and insightful of all the former trips. So the following is a word layout of some of the highlights of that trip. I hope it is truly entertaining.

• The bus ride from Rijeka to Zagreb - normally this is a really easy and relaxing 2.5 hours on a bus, but this time it was a little different. For one, I got on the bus at 1 am, so that makes it more difficult to be fun. But the major problem was the heat of the bus. It was crazy humid and the bus was packed. So, I get on the bus and am looking for a seat. All of the back seats are taken up by guys laying across them (I was seriously tempted to push one of them over to make room for me, but I fortunately realized my witness was worth more than that). So, I took a seat next to a large Croatian man. I immediately start sweating profusely. So, the whole ride was the two of us rubbing our sweaty, hairy arms together while trying to sweat. Yeah! Pretty gross. Probably the most interesting part was the multiple men wearing no shirts. I kind of enjoyed the fact that people across the world are all a little white trash.
• This trip was where my ipod shuffle project started. A worthy project indeed!
• As I was waiting for my plane in Frankfurt, I sat next to a guy that ended up being really cool to talk to. His name is Mike and he was just finishing his time in the US Army and was on his way home from being stationed in Germany. He told me all about being in the Army and his two terms in Iraq with the latest conflict there. He was in the infantry and was in a town near Baghdad. We got talking and he found out I was a Christian, and so we started talking all about that. He was telling me about some very strange coincidences that made it apparent to him that God existed and was present in our lives. It was just really cool and encouraging to talk with him and see someone that has come out of some really tough stuff and really want to serve God with his life.
  
• On the flight from Frankfurt to Denver, there was this German guy on the flight that looked just like Dwight from The Office. It made me laugh quite a bit and probably creeped him out a lot to have me staring at him a lot.
• The most amazing thing to bring on a long airplane ride is slippers. Taking off your shoes is mandatory on those long rides, and putting those feet in nice comfy slippers is the best next step.
  
• We flew over Hudson Bay in Canada and it was amazing. Parts of it were frozen and it was sunny and beautiful out. It was really cool to see.
• As we were about to touch down in Denver, about 100 feet off the runway, the plane started to ascend again. I thought that was unusual. Usually, the plane continues down and lands, but not this time. We get back up a bit in the air and start to turn. The pilot comes on the intercom and informs us that he didn't land because there was something in the way in the runway. I started wondering what that might be - another plane, a person, a paper bag, a cow. I never found out. We came back around and landed the second time and unfortunately there was no cow carcass on the runway after we plowed through it.

• The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful, which was nice and allowed me to get a little sleep. And once again, the flight ended in Portland where I went to the hospital to see my mom. I don't think I ever want to fly anywhere again. Every time I have left, my mom has gone into the hospital. No leaving for me anytime soon!

I hope you enjoyed that with me. Have a nice day!

The Mysteries of Signs - part 6



OK, take a minute and observe the sign above... I know, interesting! The writing might start to give us a clue to what the sign must mean. Skolska patrola - ok, I'm not a scholar in the Croatian language, but I think I've got this one. I'm going with School patrol... So, part of the mystery is uncovered.

But what is the school patrol doing? It appears that the patrol person is hitting the miniature people with his racket. John and I had a few discussions over this sign. We concluded that this must be actually a sign of future warning. You might wonder what they might be warning us of... clearly, I feel the answer must be a warning of the world without shuttlecocks (investigate here). This might surprise you, but it is clear that the patrol person is not doing his job, but is actually playing badminton with small children, which he should be protecting. Quite disturbing! It almost makes me sick to my stomach.