"How are you doing?"

The above question is one that we use constantly in our everyday conversations with people around us. It is such a natural thing to say that we say it without really thinking about it and/or expecting an honest, real response. As I am grieving the loss of my mom and obviously not ok with life in general, I am asked this constantly. I usually respond with the "ok" or "alright" responses that are almost expected in any situation. Occasionally, I respond with a "not good" or "pretty crappy" and also sometimes I don't say anything at all and give them a shoulder shrug and a look that gives them a response that says "are you kidding me? You really asked me that? How do you think?"

All of us fall into this all of the time. I even do while I am dealing with all of this. I have asked my dad and sisters this question and immediately thought how stupid am I. I don't really fault anyone for saying this to me. No one really knows how to act toward someone that is going through tragedy. I know that I am tired of responding in a nice, kind way. Any of you that really know me would not be surprised by that.

I don't know if anyone really looks at my blog anymore, so this might be a mute point. But for those of you that do read this, please don't ask me how I am doing; please don't ask how my family is doing. I know that you care for me and want to express that, but find another way to express that. Thanks for reading

My mom died tonight from liver failure. She would have had a better chance a living if she would have gotten a liver transplant while she was on the list. She died because there are so few donors. Why aren't you a donor?

Listening to Gorillaz has finally put me in the mood to write this post...

As many of you know, my mom is waiting for a liver transplant to live longer. She will die if she doesn't get a new liver. The liver is a pretty important organ and does a lot for us to be ourselves and healthy. I want to tell a little about my mom and how she got to where she is now.

My mom is one of the most important people in my life and specifically in the last seven months, has become one of the strongest people I have ever known. She has been on the edge of dying multiple times now and has not given up and stopped fighting. She was diagnosed just over a year ago with non-alcohol related liver cirrhosis, which is only curable with a transplant. She started getting sick in September and was hospitalized for the first time then. The first real big scare was in December, just before Christmas. She slipped into a coma and didn't come out of it for almost three days. Obviously, that was a huge scare for us all. Since that time in December, she has been in and out of the hospital as the disease has progressed.

We had to go through a process for her to be listed on the liver transplant list and she was finally listed in the middle of March. From that point until now, she has been up and down and everywhere between. Exactly two weeks ago, at almost the exact time I'm writing this, we got a call from the hospital that does the transplants here in Portland telling us that there was a liver available. I should point out at this time that livers are usually taken from a donor that has died. Some organs can be given from live people, which is also true with the liver, but is extremely dangerous, particularly with the liver. All of my family rushed to the hospital and waited six hours as they prepped my mom for surgery and removed the organs from the donor. As they were removing the liver, they noticed that the liver was damaged and couldn't be transplanted into my mom. This was a major hit to us and I sat there thinking I was in a horrible dream.

She has been in another hospital since then battling infections and a whole body that is fighting back. We are all waiting again for that call that says that there is another liver waiting for us.

What really prompts this post is the lack of information and focused talk on the issue of transplant in our country. So I have added a few below:

• Almost 100,000 men, women and children currently need life-saving organ transplants.


• Every 12 minutes another name is added to the national organ transplant waiting list.


• An average of 18 people die each day from the lack of available organs for transplant.

• 90% of Americans say they support donation, but only 30% know the essential steps to take to be a donor.

Stats taken from Donate Life America

I am personally invested in this story, because my mom is the one waiting for someone to give her life. It is kind of a strange thing - someone will die and because of that death, my mom can live. Why wouldn't you want to be a part of that in you life and death? What is keeping you from being a donor and giving that life to another person in such need of it?

There are so many people that are in need and you can help make a difference in making their lives better and longer. Learn the facts and join! It's probably not going to be my mom that you will save, but it will be someone's mom or dad or brother...

Please read this.

Thanks

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It has been done to completion! I accept all of your congratulations! And thank you!

I just finished my quest to go through all the songs on my ipod in the shuffle mode. It was all pretty anticlimactic and really kind of disappointing in the end. I know - sorry and sad - but it really has been just that. Throughout the whole process, I was guessing what the last song might be; all along the way hoping for something to wrap it all up, but that just did not happen. I ended with a song from the soundtrack to Antwone Fisher, which is a nice song, but not really what I was looking for. I thought it would be some great song by Nickel Creek (one of my favorite bands ever) or if I was really fortunate, I would get Good Riddance by Green Day. It was not in the cards though. But don't be sad for me - I'm not. I'm actually really glad to have my ipod free of capture of the task at hand. Thanks for all the support peeps!