"How are you doing?"

The above question is one that we use constantly in our everyday conversations with people around us. It is such a natural thing to say that we say it without really thinking about it and/or expecting an honest, real response. As I am grieving the loss of my mom and obviously not ok with life in general, I am asked this constantly. I usually respond with the "ok" or "alright" responses that are almost expected in any situation. Occasionally, I respond with a "not good" or "pretty crappy" and also sometimes I don't say anything at all and give them a shoulder shrug and a look that gives them a response that says "are you kidding me? You really asked me that? How do you think?"

All of us fall into this all of the time. I even do while I am dealing with all of this. I have asked my dad and sisters this question and immediately thought how stupid am I. I don't really fault anyone for saying this to me. No one really knows how to act toward someone that is going through tragedy. I know that I am tired of responding in a nice, kind way. Any of you that really know me would not be surprised by that.

I don't know if anyone really looks at my blog anymore, so this might be a mute point. But for those of you that do read this, please don't ask me how I am doing; please don't ask how my family is doing. I know that you care for me and want to express that, but find another way to express that. Thanks for reading